My Journey of How to deal with the Death of my four legged child

Well we celebrated Christmas and Her Birthday. It was her First birthday in Heaven...and I am SMALL enough to say that I wanted Jade here....MY Jader girl who I used to say was a Low Maintenance girl.....as long as she had her 2 meals a day and her football Life Was Great!!! I can STILL see her Trying to get up the stairs. Tail going a mile a minute as it always did. Excited to GO anywhere BE anywhere. Jade was also the TIME KEEPER in the family. In the beginning she would start around 5, Than she would be messed up with the time change....but she would catch up. Than she started ALERTING us that it was getting close...4:45...4:00 and towards the end she couldnt get used to the time change and she was starting around 3:30 4:00...If I fed them Breakfast at 2:00 it wouldnt matter to her cuz Dinner time was Dinner time!!!......and dinner was at 5!!!!

I am writing this in a series of days...I get to overwhelmed and need to step back and take a breath..I can bury this DEEP in and writing brings it up...hence the breaks...

Jade came from my other puppy Noel. I bred her and Jade came from the second litter. She was the ONLY one to survive after poor Noel being in labor for 24 hours and a c-section. 6 Puppies and Jade being the survivor. We used to call her the "Elvis Puppy" because 8 nipples full of milk NO waiting. She took advantage of EACH and EVERY one of them TOOO!!!! She also lived with her Half Aunt Tasha. SADLY in Jades first year and a half she went from the baby of the house to the ONLY one in the house. I lost Tasha first in june from cancer and than 9 month later I lost Jades Momma Noel to Diabetes. I thought I would loose Jade too as I couldnt get her to eat for almost a WEEK.. I would call the Vet over and over and he would say...she will eat when she is ready. And it would break my heart to watch the ones left behind sit at the door WAITING for the ones who left, to return....

When we knew it was time for Jade I read an article saying that if you had a household with more than ONE four legged baby, that it might be wise (should you choose) to bring them with to the SAD day. When I told people that I want to do that They would look at me like i was Orange with Teal stripes!!!! The article went on to say that each DOG will mourn in their own way. WE were REALLY worried about Chloe since they were JOINED at thte hip and Jade was All Chloe knew. The slept ON each other they played together they followed each other....they were TRULY inseperable. So I wont go into details now but On that day here are 2 doc's, Me, my daughter and 2 dogs in the room.....Chloe wouldnt even look at Jade...My daughter kept trying to get her to look and I said LET her do it HER way....she finally came over smelled Jade and than turned away....it was Lainey who came over and smelled her and licked her face and just.....i dont know......but as sad as it was Chloe or Lainey have sat at the door waiting for Jade to come home...and thats NOT to say that they didnt mourn her Chloe DID but at least they understood.

well I will post this but add more when the tears dry up...I thought I was running low BUT i was WRONG!!!