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babies

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My first steps as a blogger

I have NO IDEA what I am doing (which I am sure everyone says in the beginning) but here goes...

I thought that I would write about how a Mom deals with an ONLY child growing up.

My daughter is 21 and it astounds me how FAST time goes...it seems like just yesterday that I was holding this innocent, beautiful creature in my arms looking into her face with such amazement and my heart a million times the size it should be. Having her look into my eyes knowing that I am her whole world. Than I blinked and somehow she is now 21 and out in the world looking for her person to make a life with and create her own children to look at with the same amazement.

People say to me "its time to look for grandchildren"....but they have more than ONE child and are ready to let go because when they let the first one go they still had one more or two or etc. at home. But when you have an ONLY child you experience EVERYTHING for the first and last ALL at the SAME time. That is something that cant be explained to someone with more than one child just like it cant be explained how you love EACH child the exact same amount to a person with only ONE child.

(Warning I have a tendancy to jump around so sorry ahead if its hard to follow me).

My child is TRULY my one miracle as I have lost 3 babies and was LUCKY enough to have her...but I had and HAVE (always hoping a late in life miracle could happen) wanted more than One child....other people in my life have had way easier times concieving but NOT me. I also tried for over 4 years to concieve from 39 to well NOW which is longer than 4 years...but my age is NOT important right now......

well I am going to take a break for now gather thoughts on exactly how to write things down...so I shall return!!

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